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Floats Dispatch Latest Stories:


The Official Prepare the Floats™ 2026 Penn State Football Season Prediction Will Shock the College Football World
The Matt Campbell era at Penn State begins this weekend, and Prepare the Floats™ is officially putting our 2026 season prediction on the record! We’re extremely high on the addition of Matt Campbell, the winning culture he brings with him, and quarterback Rocco Becht. They’re both winners, and we believe Penn State fans are about to experience a whole lot of winning in Happy Valley beginning on September 5, 2026. Penn State is going to finish the regular season 11-1, advance

Billy Bauer
Sep 44 min read


Trade Deadline Eve Feels Like Christmas Eve
’Twas the night before the deadline, and all through the Bank, not a bat boy was stirring-not even a Phillie Phanatic prank. Harper’s clean white jersey was hung by his locker with care, in hopes that Dombrowski would find another bat somewhere. Mattingly chimed in, stood by his son, And holy shit- the Phillies actually just won. Harper made it clear: this roster needs help, so Dombrowski better find something on the deadline shelf. And now, without further ado, here’s how yo

Billy Bauer
Aug 25 min read


The Phillies' Most Likely Solution to the Painter Problem
Andrew Painter's 2026 season has been a massive disappointment, and following yet another rough outing, the Phillies sent him back to Triple-A Allentown. Painter lasted just two innings, allowing six runs on six hits while striking out three and walking two. The loss dropped his record to a dismal1-8 with a 7.06 ERA across 65 innings this season. Cliff Welch/Icon Sportswire Whether Phillies President of Baseball Operations Dave Dombrowski should have traded the once highly to

Billy Bauer
Jun 182 min read


Brown's Exit to New England Took His Philly Legacy With It — The Eagles Are Better Off
Under most circumstances, when a team loses a legitimate No. 1 receiver, Pro Bowler, and Super Bowl champion like A.J. Brown, it's almost a guarantee that team takes a step backward. That won't happen in South Philadelphia in 2026. The fact of the matter is Brown didn't play like a hungry dog throughout much of the 2025 season. His antics wore thin on the fan base, and the entire saga became exhausting. Brown helped bring a Lombardi Trophy back to Philadelphia, and nobody can

Billy Bauer
Jun 44 min read
Photo Credit: Terence Lewis /Icon Sportswire
Photo Credit: Terence Lewis /Icon Sportswire
Photo Credit: Prepare the Floats™
Photo Credit: Prepare the Floats™
Gear Up- the Parade Starts In Your Closet!
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